*Just For You*

“This is my prayer for all of us—'Lord, increase our faith.' Increase our faith to bridge the chasms of uncertainty and doubt. . . . Grant us faith to look beyond the problems of the moment to the miracles of the future. . . . Give us faith to do what is right and let the consequence follow.” -Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley

Sunday, September 28

TJ Update

In the past few days we have heard the words hepatitis B, spinal meningitis, enterovirus, and cerebral palsey. None of which are words that any parent wants to hear about their baby. Right now we are kind of just in a daze. Everything has become a waiting game. Waiting to take the tests, waiting for the results, waiting to retake some tests, waiting for results. Its hard seeing our little man all hooked up to tubes and wires, being poked and proded and struggle. I know Tim and I both wish we could take it on ourselves and just give him a break, but we both also have come to realize that this is all in the Lord's hands. Our little TJ is not even two weeks old and he has already suffered so much. Its hard to understand quite the reason for all of this, but we are trying to remember that there is a purpose in everything. And he has chosen to come into this world to receive a body, even a sick body was good enough for him. We are just so incredibly grateful to have the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation and that no matter what happens with our beautiful little boy, whether he is sick or healed, whether he stays with us or leaves we will be an eternal family and we will be together forever. Someday whether here or in another place TJ will be healthy and strong. He will have a perfect body free of pain and suffering.

Yesterday he was transfered to Primary Children's Medical Center where the best pediatrics in the state are taking care of him. We know he is in good hands, even if they aren't our own. We know that they are doing everything they can to help our little boy. He has some swelling and bleeding in his brain they believe it is due to the infection. He has enterovirus which may cause meningitis. They did a lumbar puncture today to check his CSF (cerebral spinal fluid) for infection. No results yet, and they may have to do it again. When you have bleeding in your brain in can leak into your spinal fluid. So when they did the tap to collect CSF there was quite a bit of blood mixed in. It makes it hard for them to run all the proper test because the blood begins to coagulate or clot before they can check. Tomorrow we will find out if they have to do another lumbar puncture. If there is infection in his CSF it is called meningitis and they will treat it depending on what form of meningitis it is. Also depending on what kind it is there are certain side effects that could come from that. None of this is for sure and all could just go away and he will be a perfectly healthy little boy, but there also are some terrible side effects that could come from all of this infection in his premature little body.

Sorry there is not much more information that I can give everyone right now. We are just waiting for all the results to come back. Keep praying for our sweet little angel. We can feel your prayers and know our strength comes from the love and support around us.

Monday, September 22

*One Week*

I can't believe our little man is a week old already! I am counting down the days till he can come home with me. But for the time being I know he is in the best place and he continues to grow stronger everyday. Its amazing to see the little improvements day by day. He had dropped some weight down to 3lbs 4oz...but has gained back to 3lbs 12 1/2oz so he's almost back up to his birth weight. Man I love this little guy. They took his C-PAP off today to see how he was doing with his breathing. He did good for a little while and we got some great pictures of his face, but they had to put him back on because he was getting a little stressed and kept dropping his heart rate. His skin color has improved so much. He had a little bit of jaundice for awhile so they had these two bright lights on him, but those are gone now also. He tries so hard to open his little eyes while we are there. Every once in a while I'll catch a glimpse and it makes it all worth it. The other night he opened them while I was holding him and just stared for what seemed like hours...but I'm sure it was only a few seconds. It was just so sweet to get to see into his face. I love him so much. Its incredible how much love you can have for such a tiny creature. He is such a precious little gift from my Heavenly Father and I treasure every moment that I get to spend with him. He's such a sweet little boy!

Sunday, September 21

*OUR CrAzY WEEK*

Sunday: We had a wonderful day at the Sizz in the morning and headed down to Nephi after to hang out with the fam! Later in the evening I started getting a little bit of a tummy ache. No big deal..probably just gas right........wrong. By the time we got home around 10:30 I was done for. I decided to go lay down and maybe just sleep it off.....wrong. I woke up at 12 in horrible pain. Tim had just drank 1/2 a bottle of NyQuil so he was out cold and slept right through my moanings. I went to the family room to lay down so I wouldn't disturb him and after about an hour violently threw up in the kitchen sink twice. I decided at about 2 that things were progressing far beyond a typical Jade tummy ache and went to wake up Tim. "Tim wake up. I am so sick".."Oh No".....snooze Tim was back to sleep in about 3 seconds. "NO TIM WAKE UP". Tim skyrockets out of bed. I'm clutching my right side heaved over in pain. "Something is very wrong!" Tim rushes me to the car and flys up to Utah Valley Medical Center in Provo. The drive is probably around 10-15 min...but to me it felt like an hour. Every light I thought I was gunna lose it.

Monday: 2:30 am We finally pull up to the ER and they imediately rush us up to the Labor and Delivery room. First instinct was that I was in preterm labor. Second was that maybe I had a Urinaty Tract Infection that had traveled to my kidneys (been there before..NOT that)...or that maybe I had galstones or something.....nope. They hook me up to like 50 machines and give me a steroid shot to help TJ's lungs develop as much as possible incase I have to deliver in the next few hours. The pain is horrible. I honestly feel as if I am being stabbed in my right side. They decide to give me a shot of morphine........I was out cold. I hardly remember the next hours/day. Monday went by in a blur and all I remember is hearing the words "Pre-eclampsia" and "We need to deliver him today". My mind was racing and all I could keep thinking was "I'm only 30 weeks...this is way too soon." Dr. Broadbent was my doctor and he was incredible with reassuring me that TJ would be ok, but that we had to deliver him or I wasn't going to make it. The only cure for pre-eclamsia is delivery. He asked if I wanted to do a c-section or see how long it would take to induce my labor and deliver vaginally. I did not want to have a c-section and I wanted to give as much time as possible for the steroid to take affect on TJ's lungs. I asked if we could wait and do it vaginally. Dr. Broadbent said yes but that we only had a certain amount of time and if I wasn't dialated then he would have to do a c-section. My baby was healthy and fine, it was a matter of how long my body would last. I asked to wait. In and out of conscienceness I learned that my blood platlids were severely low. They should be around150 and they were at about 65. And my liver enzymes should have been at 10-20 and 30-50 but they had jumped to over 200 and over 500. These were all symptoms of the pre-eclampsia. That was the reason for the severe pain on my right side. My liver was freaking out!

Family began to come and I was so thankful for the help and love. I was basically out of it but I'm sure Tim was in horror. Watching his wife lay in a hospital bed knowing that his baby was coming 10 weeks early. I am so grateful there were people there to support him and comfort him. So many phone calls were made and so much paperwork was signed. I can't imagine what was running through his head, but I know that having our family there kept him from breaking down.

They began to induce labor and I could hardly feel a thing. I'm sure the morphine hadn't quite worn off yet. As time went on my platelids kept dropping, and my liver kept getting worse. I kept praying that I could hold off dialating enough to give TJ time, yet was worried about how bad things were going to get. Eventually the morphine had worn off and I felt the first contraction. It wasn't bad, but my liver pain was starting to come back. I told them they could start the epidural because I did not want to feel that liver pain again. They weren't sure if an epidural would even block that pain but we started anyway. I rolled to my side waiting for the dreaded epidural. (I've heard horror stories about how much they can hurt). But imediately my liver started throbbing. I hardly felt the prick of the epidural, it was nothing compared to this weird side pain. Luckly within a few minutes my entire lower body was numb. Completely numb. I can't really describe that feeling. Only people who have had an epidural before know what I'm talking about. But I was just happy the pain was gone.

As time went on I slowly and even more slowly began to dialate. I started at a 2 then in two or three hours I was at a 3. Two or so more hours went by and I was at a 4. Then a 5.....it was a long process. And all the while my platlids kept dropping 50..45..32. About an hour after I had been dialated to a 5 (It was around 10:00 pm) they had decided we had waited long enough and we were just going to have to do a c-section. The nurse checked me one more time and SUPRISE I was a 10! And she could feel his head. Yep in about 45 min to an hour I went from a 5 to 10. It was awesome. They rushed me into the delivery room..and after three strange pushes (I could not feel a thing. My legs kept flopping all over the place) he was out! Timothy James (TJ) Ranagan. 3lbs 13oz 16 1/2 inches long born Sept. 15 @ 10:24 pm. They cut his cord and rushed him in to be cleaned and checked and taken to the Newborn ICU. Tim went with TJ and my mom stayed with me. It was such a wierd experience, but well worth it. I was taken to my room to recover and all was well.

Tuesday: Everything was great. I was tired, but things seemed to be getting better. TJ was doing wonderful and my platlids had started to rise....slowly. The prognosis was that I would be going home Wednesday or Thursday if my platlids continued to rise. I got to see TJ and he looked so tiny but so wonderful. He had so many machines hooked up to his tiny little body it was insane, but they all were doing their part to help him stay strong. I slept a lot, drank a lot of water, and tried pumping for the first time......fun.....the day seemed to cruise by.

Wednesday: I hadn't slept very well during the night and wasn't feeling so hot by around 6 am. I had a little bit of a tummy ache, but passed it off as constipation. The nurse gave me a stool softener and I hoped that would do the trick. But this time I was super nauseated and slowly the pain just got more intense. This time right in the middle of my stomach up next to my ribs. Not at all in the same place as my liver and it seemed to high to be anything with my uterus. Suddenly my temperature began to climb and my blood pressure was through the roof. They gave me some thing for the nausea that completely knocked me out. Before long they were doing an ultrasound to check my uterus, liver, and everything in the middle. They also ordered a blood culture to try to find the cause of these symptoms. They were not associated with pre-eclampsia and just appeared out of no where. They started me on antibiotics and just tried to cover all the bases of whatever this might have been. I had a temperature of 102 and my platlids had dropped to 27. If they got to below 25 they were going to have to do an infusion. And so I waited....and for the rest of the day I had a rediculously high temp. and just felt wierd. My stomach pain went away but the fever didn't. It all just became a waiting game from then on. Waiting for my platlids to go up. Waiting for my liver enzymes, fever, and blood pressure to come down.

Thursday: My fever finally broke around 2 am. Yay! But Dr. Broadbent came and told me that I had to go two days without a fever, my blood pressure had come down a little, and my platlids had to go up so they could pull out the epidural...yes it was still in my back. They couldn't take the epidural out until my platlids were around 100 for fear that if they broke a tiny blood vessel pulling it out and that bled into my epidural space my blood wouldn't clot fast enough and then I would be paralyzed. So that was fun news. I got to hold TJ today! It was so wonderful. He was super sweet and just laid there so calmly in my arms. I can't wait to hold him without all the wires and tubes. Thursday morning my platlids were around 35...it was going to be a long wait.

Friday: I finally washed my hair! My mom came and washed it for me and boy did I need it. My platlids were at 58 and my blood pressure was up and down. I went outside to eat lunch, hooked up to IV and all! It was so nice to get out of the hospital if even for a little while. I held TJ twice today and got to feed him. There is a tube that runs to his tummy and you just push a little bit of food in at a time with a syringe. Dr. Broadbent said that if my platlids were high enough I could go home on Saturday! YAY

Saturday: My platlids jumped from 58 to 96. I was going home! They pulled out the epidural, I got to take a shower (boy did I need that too!), I had to wait for one more IV of antibiotics to run through and I was out of there by 4! :D

So this was a pretty crazy week. TJ is doing great. He looks wonderful. He lost a little bit of weight, which is normal, and has started slowly putting it back on. I have been feeling good since I've been home and I wish I could live in the NICU. But that probably wouldn't work. They say he could be home in around 40 days..so we're keeping our fingers crossed and just want him to come home safe and sound. Here's some fun pics of the week...enjoy :D



Saturday, September 6

Memories

Haha..my good friend Rose gave us this picutre a little while ago. It is of Tim and me at the Sizzler Christmas Party in 2006 lol...sooo long ago! Almost two years. This was before we even started dating. Its so amazing to see how our lives turn out. If you would have told me when this picture was taken that I would be married to this boy in a year I wouldn't have believed it. And now I can't imagine my life without him! Its amazing how perfect everything turns out when you strive to do what is right. I love this picture and I love this boy!

Thursday, September 4

*BABY BUMP*

Tim took this pic last night :D Sorry..no new hair yet..my appointment fell through...awesome grown out roots tho haha! Scary Dr.'s appointment today...I have to get my Rhogam shot cuz I'm Rh - and Tim is Rh + so my body could build antibodies up against one of our babies if they end up being Rh + and fight it.....just a little medical lesson for everyone...I'm sure Aunt Renee could explain it better haha but I tried! Love you guys :D

My Dad is AMAZING!

About two weekends ago Dad ran a 1/2 marathon (13 miles) with our cousin Heather up in Idaho. He's NUTS....I guess she had talked him into doing it last Thanksgiving and he has been training ever since, or atleast two months before :D Mom, the boys, and I went up there to support him. I wish I would have been taking more pictures along the way but here is a video of him crossing the finish line.....



Yeah he's pretty much incredible! He finished 5th for his age group which is pretty awesome. We were all super proud of him..LOVE YA DAD